if you see me in the next couple of days throw some pennies into wells and make some eyelash wishes for me so i can get some better luck. too bad i have the best of it and luck couldn't touch me. i wish this city was more than it is. suck. so i wrote a couple the other night and they sound just incredible. i impress myself sometimes. oh well. crappy post. i'll post some more emo shit later... goodnight and sweetdreams
idontknowwhativegottenmyselfintobutiloveit.
-ricky
There was a quote I read a while ago, "remember everyone you meet has loved something, lost something and fears something". Outside of its obvious meaning, I don't think there's been a more clear definition of the word, relationship. Talking with women and gay men about relationships all day and bros and dudes at night, I've become a kind of expert in the certainties of the ups and downs. The most basic and prevelent being, "the grass is always greener on the other side", the only exception to this being the beginning of a relationship or the beginning of being single. Desire is the fire that instills the never ending "burning" in our pants that we can never extinguish. The second, similar to the first, being we always want what we can't have. If we're single we want someone to cuddle with, if we're cuddling with someone we want someone to makeout with, if we're making out we just want some on to bang, if we're banging we just want someone to love, if we're in love we just don't understand why they don't love us the way we love them, if they love us too much we think, "damn, why don't they just chill the fuck out", then we start to think about being single...and so a million john hughes movies are born. And third, relying on others to make us happy is certain failure. If we fall for the "you complete me" jerry maguire bullshitt, we will fail. Every relationship you've ever been in has failed, everyone you've ever known has failed, whether they're still together or not. Why? Because we're all looking FOR love, not looking to BE love. Going into relationships with guards and walls, reservations and expectations deems us failures from the start. We can't be happy (try to convince yourself all you want) until we're happy with ourselves. So how do you feel when you're alone? Without a shoulder? How do you feel 6 months into being single lying in bed between those 10 minutes of forever before you fall asleep? You don't 'complete' shit, you arrogant bastards. If the focus is on me, me and me how could you possibly expect someone to be unselfish and give you what you think you 'deserve'? Its rare that two people are in the same position in life and can make things work, that's why most (if not all) of the time we do fail. We fail ourselves, we cheat others. We 'cheat' boy and girls and lovers with open hearts into thinking we can give them what they need but we 'fail' to give them what they all truly deserve.
-Ricky
take this to your grave and i'll take it to mine
